What To Do When your Aging Parent Needs but Refuses Senior Living? 

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It is not easy to grow old. Oftentimes, growing old can mean more pains and aches, decreased mobility, and increased difficulty in managing one’s life. However, many elderly adults are determined to remain independent in their golden years. A recent survey found that almost ninety percent of seniors wish to age in place, remaining in their current homes. Yet about two-thirds of the seniors require help to complete at least one daily task. It can be very painful when your mind needs one thing but your body pushes you in another direction. This is the reason why so many elderly adults who are in need of senior living refuse. The strategies shared by our experts in senior living can help you when your aging parent refuses assisted living. 

Change Your Approach 

When you see that your approach is not working, you have to change your tactics. Make sure not to repeat the same speech over and over. Some of the different strategies that might help you are: 

  • Offering a sense of control to your senior loved one. Make sure not to talk about how your senior loved one “has to” do something. Instead, you can ask them to explore different options with you. 
  • Do not express your fear and frustration. Rather, express your love and concern. 
  • Make sure to highlight the benefits of assisted living, like improved socialization and independence. 

You can also ask for feedback from people that you trust. Ask them if you are being too controlling, or following an approach that is doomed to fail. You can then make changes to your approach accordingly. 

Back off For A While 

If you have gently approached your senior loved one but failed, you can consider backing off for a while. When your senior loved one does not want assisted living and feels forced into it, they can feel that they have lost control over their life. Therefore, consider backing off for some time. This can offer time to your senior loved one to evaluate their situation, ponder over things and even independently conclude that they require senior living. 

Share Your Feelings 

If you have a very good relationship with your senior loved one, they will surely consider your feelings. Therefore, rather than telling your senior loved one that they are sick, tell them about your own feelings. Never tell your senior loved one that they are annoying or a burden and do not say that they are being selfish. Your goal should be to center your own anxieties and concerns and present senior assisted living as a solution. 

Request Help From Others 

The messenger matter as much as the message. Consider how you will feel when your spouse tells you that your pants are unflattering compared to how you will feel when someone else tells you the same. Changing the messenger can help make a very big difference. In addition, by involving others, you can make the message more compelling. Some people whom you can enlist for help include: 

  • A trusted leader, like a pastor. 
  • A trusted doctor. 
  • A family member with whom your loved one has a very good relationship. 

If you find that your senior loved one is still refusing, you may go ahead with a family intervention. However, you need to proceed with caution. The goal of the family intervention should be to convey concern and not make your senior loved one feel bullied or forced. 

Get Legal Help 

If your senior loved one is refusing assisted living but requires help, you can get outside support. You may get in touch with an elder care lawyer who can help review your available options, refer you to a social worker, or advise you on getting guardianship. Your senior loved one may feel hurt or angry, but is always better than a catastrophic injury that can ruin their life.

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